[Veidt's Office] The Aftermath

[amongmycabbages]

(Following immediately upon this.)

Comments

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[seated in one of the chairs in Mr Veidt's office, making himself as small as he possibly can and positively dreading the upcoming Conversation]

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt enters, pulling the door shut behind him (leaving it open just a crack) and the smile he directs at Nelly is tired but gentle. He seats himself in one of the other chairs, and leans forward, and as he speaks his voice carries none of the steel it had with Muller.]

Tell me what happened.

[He can see that Nelly isn't badly injured-- only a few bruises, nothing that the boy doesn't already have experience dealing with-- and he relaxes, but that's not the main issue here, anyway.]

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[[Nelly is very much a trusting person. He trusts Mr Veidt implicitly, both because of this and because Adrian seems to trust him so much. And as shaken as he is, as much shame as he's feeling, Nelly decides he trusts Mr V enough tp be open]

[voice still small, and still without the courage to quite meet the man's gaze:]

I went in to get some help with German-- I'm in his intro class and kind of not doing very well-- and I kept messing up the translations he gave me so he had me do speed drills out loud. And he had this reed, I guess it was, and um. When I messed up he'd hit me with it, just lightly on the hand at first but then harder and [stops] Mr Veidt, I. . .

[has reached the end of his comfort zone; he looks up at Veidt helplessly]

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt listens as Nelly begins to speak, and sighs inwardly-- he can see where this is going, and he really should have made the time to speak to Nelly before it came to this-- and his expression turns flatter, more emotionless as he tries to control his anger. As Nelly trails off, he studies the boy, not speaking for a few moments, and something in the frightened, rabbit-like demeanor makes him relent.]

"And um." [Veidt smiles, tiredly and without mirth.] I...believe I see where this is going.

[He shakes his head.] I'm not angry, Nelly. Well, not with you, anyway. [With Muller, and with himself, because he should have seen this coming.]

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[He's not entirely sure Mr V does know where this is going, but he's not really willing to go into further detail unless directly asked. The man's demeanor of controlled rage is doing little to set him at ease, even knowing the rage is not directed at him. He shrinks farther into the chair]

I'm really sorry, sir.

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Nelly's palpable misery is not lost on Veidt, and he makes a renewed effort to control himself. He's shaking his head even before Nelly has finished speaking.]

You have nothing to apologize for, Nelly. Nothing. [He exhales.] If anyone should be apologizing [besides that brute, Muller, he thinks, but hell will freeze over before that happens] it's me. I've been meaning to talk to you for quite a while now, about...certain things, but the time never seemed right, and...well.

[Veidt regards Nelly with something akin to sympathy.] Adrian and I talk, you see [the whole school knows that] and he's been worried about you. Specifically, your...safety...with Rolf, and in general. [He blinks, calmly, but he's choosing his words carefully.] And since I have at least a passing familiarity with some of the...forces at work here, I thought I might be able to help. Advice-wise, that is. [Very emphatically.]

[Veidt is well aware that this probably rates at least a twelve on Nelly's personal meter of Most Awkward Conversations Ever (to be honest, it's not that much better for him) and decides some breathing room is called for. He raises an inquisitive eyebrow.] Would you like some tea? I find it very calming.

[He half-turns away and commences the arcane dance of tea paraphernalia (starting by plugging in the electric kettle on top of his cabinet) but it's obvious that the conversational ball is in Nelly's court.]

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[exhales slowly] Tea sounds. . . nice.

[He considers what Mr V has said. He's a bit more at ease now that he's out from under the Veidt Laser Gaze and now that they're off the subject of Muller.] With Rol-- oh. The yeah.

Um. I don't know what Adrian's told you, but Rolf and I-- we've talked a lot about things, you know, boundaries and stuff. I'm not exactly sure why Adrian's worried, specifically. I mean, I'm sure he has a reason, he usually does, just. I don't know.

[What Adrian is likely worried about, and what Nelly fails to see, is that Rolf has little respect for any boundaries that other people might have, even those of people he cares for (few as they are). Nelly, who has little capacity for recognizing faults in others, and who is in Really Very Much Like with Rolf anyway, isn't even aware that that's a possibility.]

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt finishes shaking loose tea into the pot, nodding as Nelly talks. At least he has some understanding of the concepts, which makes things easier-- or, maybe, more difficult.

He drops back into his chair while waiting for the water to heat up.]

Boundaries. [Veidt nods again.] That's good. So, then [and he fixes Nelly with that intense Look again, there's no help for it] ...did Mr. Muller ask you about your boundaries, and how to recognize when you'd reached them, before all of this happened?

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[Fixes his gaze somewhere in the vicinity of Mr V's left shoulder]

No. He didn't. There. . . wasn't really much talking at all after a certain point.

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt nods, once, and tilts his head.]

And if he had...gone past what you were comfortable with, what would you have done then?

[The kettle whistles, and Veidt gets up to fill the teapot.]

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[watches Mr V's back as he moves about]

I would've- I'd-

[looks down at his lap] I don't know. I don't know if I'd have done anything at all.

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt pours tea into two mugs and, turning around, hands one to Nelly. His face has lost its angry tightness, and now is just gently inquiring.]

You have a right to be listened to, you know, and to have your limits respected, in situations like this.

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[accepts the mug, pressing his palms flat against its welcoming heat]

I know. I'm just not comfortable with. . . "asserting myself" isn't what I want to say. I don't know. I'm used to doing what people tell me to, not telling people what to do.

[His mouth twists in a way that's half humorless grin and half grimace] My dad's an ex-Marine. [by way of explanation for his previous statement]

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt curls his hands around his own mug (one of those nauseatingly cheerful "World's Best Teacher" ones; he needs to weed out his collection again, evidently) and grimaces in sympathy.]

I can see how that would be a difficult habit to overcome, yes.

[Reflectively, as if too himself.] It's more than that, too: "we seek the teeth that match our wounds," as one person put it. What's familiar is comforting, even in ways not easily understood. [He smiles back at Nelly.]

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[reciprocates with a small smile, which disappears suddenly, leaving Nelly looking as worried as ever]

You're not-- are you going to call my parents?

[looks up at Mr Veidt, expression pleading]

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt sets his mug down and laces his fingers in his lap, and regards Nelly steadily.]

What do you think I should do, were you in my situation?

[It's a serious question-- he wants to enlist Nelly as an active participant in the decision.]

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[frowns, chewing fretfully on his lower lip]

I know that you're supposed to let people know, like school administrators and parents and things, I know what happened was illegal in a couple different ways and you really should get other people involved, but Mr Veidt, things'll only get worse if other people get involved. I think, anyway.

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt nods.] Your parents, for example.

[He closes his eyes, and then reopens them.] I have a duty to report this, yes, but the exact nature of what I report is- flexible. [He studies Nelly for a moment.] I need to tell the administration something about what happened, at least before the rumors start flying. [A smile, and a shake of the head.] Don't worry, I know you won't say anything, but these things have a way of getting out all the same. It seems to be a Law of Nature around here. [Veidt's expression turns faintly bemused.]

Perhaps [he unfolds one finger and taps it against his chin] we'll focus on the issue of corporal punishment, hmm? As lax as things are at this school, that's still frowned on, and it would put Müller on some notice as far as the administration goes, which is a very good thing, in my opinion. [Veidt's eyes flash once, and then his expression returns to normal.]

The other part of this...well. I think we can continue to deal with that privately. [Müller's been sufficiently warned, Veidt thinks, and it's not likely that he would try to do it with another student.]

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[nods, relieved. Gay sadomasochistic sex isn't something he trusts his parents to be reasonable about, but corporal punishment is.]

That sounds like a good idea, probably. I mean- yeah. That's good.

[sips tea, finally managing to relax a little]

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

Well, then, let us proceed accordingly. [Veidt regards Nelly with some sympathy, as he doubts his conversation with his parents will be at all pleasant. It's certainly not something Veidt's looking forward to, but it's practically trivial compared to the other things on his mind.]

[Veidt picks up his own tea again, but stays silent for a little while as he looks at Nelly. He can't let the boy off the hook that easily, as far as their Conversation goes, but this is going to take an even more careful hand than even Veidt is used to.]

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[He nods gently, unsure of what to say at this point in the conversation. They've reached a decision regarding the more pressing situation, but Mr V did say that he'd been meaning to talk to him anyway. Nelly chooses silence and tea, and waits for Veidt to pick up the thread of conversation.]

((sorry, mundania interceded))

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt's earlier agitation and ferocity are now completely gone, to all outward appearances, and he sips his tea with his customary serenity. After a couple of minutes of quiet, he speaks again, his voice mild, speculative.]

I imagine that this [the gesture Veidt makes with his mug hand seems at once vague and very, very specific] must all seem somewhat overwhelming. It...wouldn't be unusual, after all.

[nellyjellybelly.livejournal.com]

[he's definitely feeling overwhelmed, and he looks it. His normal enthusiasm and good cheer are overlaid by uncertainty and worry]

Yeah. Everything is just. . . complicated and weird and uncomfortable.

[sits back in his chair, frowning slightly to himself]

((fffff I fail, and Veidt is going to kill me))

[amongmycabbages.livejournal.com]

[Veidt nods, and tilts his head to one side.] Is Rolf...the first person you've had this kind of relationship with?